Rachel's Journal

Rachel’s Journal
As requested by Sarah Conrad

Day 1

I have no idea why I’m here.  Why did I agree to go on this camping trip?  I HATE camping.  I’d much rather be back in my dorm room working on my thesis.  But no, I had to let Michelle talk me into coming on this trip.  “It’ll be fun,” she said.  “You’ll finally get to meet some people.”  These people don’t like me, so why would they want to get to know me.  If it weren’t for the scholarship, I’d be back in the states right now.  I guess I better make the best of it.  Sarah thinks that we’re gonna have a great time.  She better be right.  Tomorrow we hike into the Black Forest.  Why is it called that?  There just better not be a lot of bugs.  I HATE BUGS!

Day 2

We spent all day walking the trails with our guide Dieter before we set up camp.  My feet have never hurt so badly.  At least the scenery in nice.  There are lovely valleys with crystal clear streams.  The trees are so tall they look like they touch the sky.  We’ve seen a lot of animals.  So far I’ve seen two deer, several rabbits and squirrels and I think I saw a cuckoo.  At times it feels like we are the only people in the woods.  Dieter has been telling us a bunch of old folk tales about these woods.  Stories of gnomes and wood nymphs, magic and strange occurrences.   Stories about the wood elves who defend the creatures of the forest from poachers, about wood nymphs who lure unsuspecting men to their doom and cursed streams that turn unsuspecting people into animals.  I know they’re all fairy tales, but in this forest you almost think they can come true.  Michelle seems to be having fun.  She keeps hitting on Dieter.  I know she has a better chance of getting to be with him than I do, but sometimes I dream that I could be with him.  He towers over me, his short blonde hair glistening in the sunlight.  I bet there isn’t an ounce of fat on him.  But he’d never be interested in me.  Michelle is cuter than me.  With Dieter being the only single guy here, I don’t like my chances.


Day 3

More walking today.  My feet still hurt, but it’s getting easier.  The scenery is breathtaking.  We’ve seen more deer and rabbits today.  Dieter told us that if we’re careful, we might even see a wolf.  I hope we don’t see any, but as long as I’m with Dieter, I feel safe.  He’s wonderful.  I wish I were alone out here with Dieter.  But Michelle keeps flirting with him.  Every time I try to talk to him, Michelle walks by flaunting her body.  I wish she would leave us alone for an hour or two.  I guess it’s just wishful thinking that I’d ever have a chance with Dieter.  I mean look at me and then look at Michelle.  With her long blonde hair and large breasts, what chance does a bookworm like me have.

I can’t believe it.  I can hear them having sex.  Don’t they know we can hear them?  How can they do this to me?  They probably think I don’t exist.  NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!  They know I can hear them.  Why is Michelle doing this to me?  I thought she was my friend.  Listen to them, going at it like a couple of animals.  Am I the only one bothered by this?  I can’t think with them carrying on in next tent.  I gotta get out of here.

Day 4

Why did I ever leave the camp?  How could I have been so stupid?  I thought I only walked a little ways from camp.  I can’t believe I’m lost in the middle of a huge forest thousands of miles from home.  I hope they’re looking for me.  All I can hear is the sound of the wind in the trees and birds.  I wish I were home.  Why did I ever leave?  When I get out of here I’m never gonna listen to Michelle again.  

I’ve been walking for hours and still no sign of the others.  I bet they’ve forgotten all about me by now.  They’re probably not even looking for me.  I’m so hungry.  I wish I had brought my pack along.  Here I am, lost with no food or water.  Could things get any worse?  They had better find me fast.  I’ve shouted till I’m hoarse and nothing.  I don’t want to die out here.

It must be dinnertime by now.  I’m so hungry.  At least I found a stream in the middle of this meadow.  It’s pretty scary looking.  The trees have no leaves and are all gray and gnarled.  Now I know why they call this the Black Forest.  I was so thirsty I just dunked my head in the stream and drank.  At least the water was cold.   It tasted a little funny, but I’m not complaining.  It felt so good to sit by the stream and soak my feet in the cool running water.  I’m so tired.  I’m just gonna take a little nap.

Day 5

I have no idea how long I’ve slept, but I feel better.  It’s dark now, but I don’t feel afraid anymore.  I wish I knew what time it is.   Even though its night, I can see pretty well by the moon.  It looks beautiful.  I’ve never noticed how pretty the moon can be.  It’s very comforting.  It’ll probably be full in a couple of days.  I’m still hungry.  I wish I had something to eat.  I’d even have one of those blood sausages that Hans eats all the time.  Why did I walk away?

It’s so quiet out here I can hear every noise in the forest.  I can hear a stream off to my right somewhere, I can hear a small animal munching on something just to my left and my stomach sounds like an angry wolf growling.  I know I should be scared, but I’m not.  I keep staring at the moon.  It is so beautiful.  I guess you never really notice things sometimes.  I hope they find me soon.  I can’t take this much longer.  I really need a shower.  I stink.  I’m surprised they can’t smell me.  The first thing I’m gonna do after I take a shower is shave my legs.  I know Europeans like the hairy look, but it’s driving me crazy.  My legs, arms and pits really itch.  I’m never gonna listen to Michelle again.

Day 6

Why haven’t they found me yet?  Aren’t they even looking?  Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna die in the middle of this fucking forest.  I’m not gonna give them the satisfaction of finding a corpse.  I’m gonna survive.

DAMN!!!!  I’m walking in circles.  I’m back at the stream in the dead meadow again.  I thought I was walking in a straight line.  I wish I had a map or a compass or something.  I’m an idiot.  At least I have something to drink.  The water is cold and tastes great.  I’m so tired.  

I can’t believe I slept all day, but I feel great.  I’ve never felt so good.  I feel stronger, more confident.  I can see the moon overhead.  It’s very comforting.  Like knowing somebody is watching you.  I’m not gonna die out here.  

I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel different.  I’m sprouting dark, thick hair all over my body.  This isn’t normal.  It itches a little, but it’s helping to keep me warm.  My nails are growing too.  They’re thicker know and sharper too.  If I didn’t know better, I’d swear they’re turning into claws.  My feet hurt, but not that tired feeling.  I can’t explain why, but it feels better when I walk on the balls of my feet.

I can’t believe what just happened.  I killed a rabbit with my bare hands.  I’ve never killed anything before, but I couldn’t stop myself.  It felt like I wasn’t in control of my body.  Like I was watching a movie.  Everything was moving in slow motion except me.  It was so easy to catch the animal.  I could smell its fear.  It was so weird.  I could only watch as I tore into its flesh with my teeth and ate the whole thing.  I hate to admit it, but it tasted so good.  What’s happening to me?

I stalked the forest for hours looking for more food.  I killed another rabbit.  This time I enjoyed it.  It was so exhilarating.  Chasing a helpless animal and finally catching, killing and eating it was the wildest thing I’ve ever done.  It was so satisfying.  I couldn’t stand to wear my dirty clothes any more.  They were too confining.  I feel free now.  If anybody saw me know they wouldn’t recognize me.  

My God, what have I become?  Hair is growing all over my body.  It is so thick in places you can’t even see my skin.  To look at me, you’d think I was a body builder.  I look incredibly muscular.  My boobs are firmer.  My fingernails and toenails have turned into claws.  My feet are starting to look like paws.  The most amazing thing is that I’ve grown a tail.  It’s only about eight inches long, but I know it’ll only get longer.  I can hear everything in the woods.  Probably because my ears are about twice as big as they were before.  I can see and smell better too.  Right now I can tell that there is a rabbit twenty yards away from me.  My mouth is watering at the thought of killing it and eating it whole.  It’s hard to contain my self.  I must hunt.


Tomorrow is the full moon.  Will I change more?

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?????

Day 7

I slept all day.  I don’t like the sun.  I look at myself and don’t recognize what I see.  My legs and feet look like the back legs of a wolf.  My feet are paws now with razor sharp claws.  My tail is now about three feet long.  I know this sounds strange, but I like it.  It’s indescribable.  Feeling it swish across the back of my legs feels so good.  Thick, black hair covers my body.  My hands still look mostly human, except for the hair and claws.  It’s hard to tell by looking in the stream, but my face looks mostly canine.  I have a muzzle with long, sharp teeth; whiskers and my ears are on top of my head.  For some reason, I feel better than I ever had in my life.  It feels great to just let myself go.

The moon is full now.  I couldn’t help myself, I howled at the moon.  Now I know why wolves bay at the moon.  Its spiritual.  The moon makes me feel stronger.  I love it.  I hear more howling in the distance.  I’m not alone.  I know now that I will never return home, because I am home now.  This is where I will spend the rest of my days.

I can smell him now.  His musk is strong and overpowering.  My crotch moistens uncontrollably.  I know he can smell me by his howl.  I can hear him running towards me.  I can see him now.  Magnificent.  He stands over six feet tall and is beautiful.

I must go now.  To whoever finds this journal, please tell my parents I love them and will miss them.  Don’t look for me, because you won’t find me.  I belong to the forest now.

Goodbye Rachel


AP News Service – The search continues in the Black Forest for missing American college student Rachel James.  While on a routine camping trip with friends in the famous forest, Ms. James wandered away from the campsite and apparently could not find her way back.  German law enforcement officials have conducted an exhaustive search that has so far covered over twenty square miles.  The only evidence of Ms. James found so far have been some ripped clothing, a discarded canteen and her personal journal.  Officials request that anyone traveling through the Black Forest to be on the lookout for Ms. James.  She is described as being of small build, 5’2” tall with short chestnut brown hair and freckles.  Ms. James also is known to wear glasses, earrings and a nose ring.  If you happen to find any trace of Ms. James, you are urged to contact the nearest local law enforcement office.